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Coping with Loss
According to Wikipedia.com there are five stages of grief that should never be rushed. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I don't think these stages have clear margins as all of these feelings seem to be overlapping already. For those of us who normally suffer from depression, the margins are even less clear as our depression will probably continue through each stage.
I wonder where anxiety fits into these stages. Anxiety is something my husband and I are both dealing with as we go through the grief stages. Maybe it's the same kind of anxiety many of us have when there are changes of any kind in our lives. This anxiety has taken many forms including nightmares and over eating. Hopefully as we cope with the loss we will move past this anxiety.
I remember when my dad passed away in 1990 and my mom in 1999 . I thought I would never recover from those losses and reach the acceptance stage. I did. Acceptance sounds as though it should feel okay. Acceptance feels sad to me. I doubt the sadness ever leaves us. I believe my experience in coping with loss is helping me to help my husband now. I guess that's a good thing.
Thank you for reading my blog.
Why Holiday Stress Happens and How to Prevent It
The following is a post written by a guest writer. I hope to be back writing soon. Please enjoy her article and let her know that you did. Her contact information is listed at the bottom of the article.
Why Holiday Stress Happens and How to Prevent It
We take vacations because we need to unwind and de-stress; but more often than not, holidays today are turning out to be sources of stress rather than relievers of it. We come back to work feeling tense and nervous, not relaxed and rejuvenated as we’re supposed to. So why have vacations become the stressful experiences they are today? Why do we feel more stress after we return than before we left? The reasons are varied, but the most common among them are:
• Pending work: If you take off on a holiday with work pending, your mind is not as free as it should be when on vacation. You keep thinking of the work that must be done when you get back and you don’t enjoy your vacation as much as you should. What’s more, if the work is complicated and difficult, your mind works in overdrive thinking of the ways and methods you must adopt to tackle the task.
One way to prevent stress relating to pending work is to finish the work before you go. And if that is not possible, then learn to relax your mind and forget about the work that is waiting for you when you get back. Don’t take the office on vacation with you. You know you’re going to break your head over work when your vacation is over, so why worry over it during your holiday too?
• Too much food and too little exercise: Most of us tend to overeat during vacations, irrespective of whether we’re on a diet or not. We think that vacations are meant to eat and relax, and so they are. But when the food gets too much for your body, you begin to get lethargic and lazy. While this state of mind and body is ok as long as you’re on vacation, it is not conducive to the work environment. And when you get back to the office and have to shift gears straight into overdrive from idling, your body and mind are stressed out. You’re unable to adjust to the pace of the workplace and you start to feel the tension creep in.
To avoid stress related to food and inactivity, temper your appetite when on vacation. And if you must eat, at least ensure that you expend a little energy by taking the occasional walk or going for a swim in the pool or the ocean. And a day or two before it’s time to return, prepare your mind to get back to work so that you can ease into the hectic workplace environment with relative ease.
• Too much fun: Vacations are meant to be fun times with lots of happiness and laughter. But when you enjoy yourself too much, you find that coming back to your normal routine is a sort of letdown, and you feel a bit depressed and out of sorts for a few days. You keep thinking of your vacation and resenting your mundane life and this causes a certain amount of stress.
To get over this kind of stress, give yourself time to get back to normal. Yes, there will be a hangover of sorts when you feel out of place in your regular environment. But this passes within a day or two and you’re soon back to the daily grind with your usual flair. So enjoy your vacation, and make sure you enjoy work even more when you get back.
This post is written by Susan White, who writes on the topic of Becoming a Radiologist . She welcomes your comments at her email id: susan.white33@gmail.com.
Addicted to Facebook
I've reconnected with old friends and people I haven't seen for years. We send tokens of affection back and forth such as hearts, flowers, smiles and now....Christmas cards. It's fun having these relationships online. I also use Facebook to promote myAvon Representativewebsite.
The think about Facebook that I am most addicted to however is farming. Farmville and Farmtown are my favorite farming applications and I love everything about them. I have plenty of farming neighbors to send gifts back and forth to. We send each other cow, pigs, trees, flowers and all sorts of items. Right now we can send each other Christmas trees and other holiday items to decorate our farms. If you want to play an easy and ongoing game check these out. I can play away my stress and relax on Facebook.
Well, now you know why I'm less depressed lately and I hope you're happy for me. I'll try to continue to write on this blog and keep you up to date with my state of mind. It's an ever changing state of mind depending on the weather, time of year and my relationships with my family. Now I'd best get to planting some more crops. ha!
Dreary Weather....Again
Many of my family members have been sick the past few weeks. Hubby and I have had our turns with various bugs too. So far, none of us has gotten the H1N1 virus. Anyway, relationships suffer when it's gloomy and people are sick, because we try to avoid passing the germs around. We've practiced isolationism to the point that we've had 'cabin fever' in October!
Our weatherman is predicting plenty of sunshine the first week of November and we're all looking forward to it.
Happy Halloween!!!
Online Friends
The state of my mental health (depression) depends a lot on my relationships and how well I am getting along with friends and family. I've found it helps a lot to stay in touch on Facebook enjoying light hearted sharing with each other. I also interact with the readers of this blog as well as those who make comments on my Avon review blog.
Sometimes I discover really interesting or talented people while socializing online. One recent discovery is the artistry of Declan Kirwan, a fellow Facebook member. He has pictures of his work posted on his pages and I ordered some of his hand crafted Christmas cards. I received them this week and am amazed at how pretty they are.....three dimensional too! I will be proud to mail my cards this holiday season. If anyone is interested in having a look you can find me or Declan online at Facebook.
I invite you to interact with me on either of my blogs or at Facebook. Online friends often turn out to be a real blessing!
Free Happier Tests!
The happier.com website launched on September 23, 2009 and is designed to help people not just be happier but “do happier.” This innovative website provides online tools and exercises for users to make an immediate positive impact on their lives. The website allows users to participate by taking 4 free validated tests with instant feedback on strengths, optimism, happiness and positivity. More than 100 exclusive videos from the world’s leading happiness researchers and practitioners are also included in this section of the site.
Premium users can subscribe for just $5 a month for access to more than a dozen research-backed tools customized to increase happiness, resilience, optimism, engagement, and meaning. The founders worked closely with positive psychology experts, including Martin E.P. Seligman, an exclusive consultant who is the “father of positive psychology” and a noted professor from the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Seligman is the best-known author, teacher and researcher in the field of positive psychology. His work spans 30 years, 200 articles, and books in over 20 languages.
Happier is something most of us would love to be so I would suggest having a look at this new website. I sure liked what I saw!
Deadly Downpour
I've no idea how the families of these children will ever face another stormy day. I am blessed that my four adult children are healthy and have good relationships with me. My heart goes out to the families of these children who were taken so quickly that terrible, rainy afternoon.
One More Flu Shot
I usually don't have much problem with the seasonal flu shot.....maybe a bit of soreness in my arm but once in a while I react with symptoms that resemble a mild case of the flu. That was the case today. I felt a bit of depression about not feeling well but I expect to be my old self again tomorrow.....at least I'd better be!
My husband is also feeling under the weather this afternoon so we kicked back and watched an old Tom Hanks movie. Sometimes allowing ourselves to take it easy and pamper ourselves is the best thing we can do to feel better physically as well as mentally. Have you had your seasonal flu shot yet?
Another Year Older
I have been thinking about what I want to do with this blog in the coming year. I'm considering writing it more like a journal....talking about what I've been doing and how I feel about the things I'm doing. Maybe you'll learn more about me and see that I have lots of joy in my life to go along with the depression.
I'll start today by telling you that I've added my Facebook information at the top of the sidebar. I've really been enjoying Facebook lately since my daughter and daughter-in-law have joined. I've been a member for a long time but didn't spend much time there until recently. Now I am addicted to a game on Facebook called Farmtown. I love seeing what my friends and relatives are saying. I guess you could say I am feeling a lot of happiness as a result of interacting with others on Facebook.
Please don't stop visiting my blog. I'll try to do a better job of posting....I've done an awful job of it the past few months. If you'd like to be friends on Facebook just send me an invitation. Thanks so much for reading this.
Whispering at Family Gatherings
I personally think private whispered conversations are rude when sitting at a table, or in a room full of family members. I'm not talking about the occasional whispered words between spouses or a parent and child when it's necessary to convey a short message. I'm talking about two people sitting next to each other and speaking quietly to each other for a period of time. Sometimes, I can't help but think it is done intentionally to hurt other people by excluding them. I hope it isn't intentional but only thoughtless.
I have discovered that whispering at family gatherings isn't only bothering me, but other family members as well. I've been contemplating whether or not I can do anything to stop this kind of hurtful behavior when our family gets together. So far, I haven't come up with a solution. I'd love to hear my readers ideas. Thanks for reading and I'll watch for your comments.
