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Holding a Grudge..........by Susan
Posted by ozzieblackcat at 8/24/2007 11:20 PM and is filed under Anger,Relationships,Mental Health,Family 
Many people hold grudges when they have felt anger or hurt about something that has happened in a relationship. It can be the result of something that happened with a sibling, your parents, or anyone you have a relationship with.
Some people hold grudges for a lifetime. Others for years and years. If we're lucky, our loved ones will hold their grudges against us for a short period of time and then let the anger and hurt go. It's in their best interest to do this and to attempt to resume a good relationship with the person who hurt their feelings. The longer you wait, the more difficult that will be.
Many times this is easier said than done. In my opinion it is worth every effort to get past holding a grudge so that we can move on and live our lives without anger hanging over our shoulders. Holding a grudge only makes depression feel worse.
After we have stopped holding our grudge, is it really possible to resume the relationship we once had with the person who hurt us? I seriously doubt it. Both parties have changed while this grudge was being held on to. I believe a new and different kind of relationship will be possible. Will it be a better one? Only time will tell.
I have a feeling the relationship will be a bit cooler than it once was as both parties will attempt to protect their tender feelings. Both parties? Yes. The one who did the initial hurting (most likely unintentionally) has probably been hurting because of the grudge that was held against them. The longer the grudge is held against them, the more hurt that person may feel.
I doubt there is much benefit in holding grudges against others but it happens so often. Why?
Some people hold grudges for a lifetime. Others for years and years. If we're lucky, our loved ones will hold their grudges against us for a short period of time and then let the anger and hurt go. It's in their best interest to do this and to attempt to resume a good relationship with the person who hurt their feelings. The longer you wait, the more difficult that will be.
Many times this is easier said than done. In my opinion it is worth every effort to get past holding a grudge so that we can move on and live our lives without anger hanging over our shoulders. Holding a grudge only makes depression feel worse.
After we have stopped holding our grudge, is it really possible to resume the relationship we once had with the person who hurt us? I seriously doubt it. Both parties have changed while this grudge was being held on to. I believe a new and different kind of relationship will be possible. Will it be a better one? Only time will tell.
I have a feeling the relationship will be a bit cooler than it once was as both parties will attempt to protect their tender feelings. Both parties? Yes. The one who did the initial hurting (most likely unintentionally) has probably been hurting because of the grudge that was held against them. The longer the grudge is held against them, the more hurt that person may feel.
I doubt there is much benefit in holding grudges against others but it happens so often. Why?
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