Living With Male Chauvinism..........by Susan
I have lived my life with men who practice what used to be referred to as 'Male Chauvinism'. It began of course, with my father who was a very loving person but........he was also a sergeant in the Army. He used to tell his six daughters and one son this: "Saturday we were going to have a G I party". This meant we all had to clean our rooms. He was bossy and required us to live by his standards in all areas of our lives. If he came home and mom told him one of us needed a spanking, he gave it to us. He required all of us to go to confession once every two weeks, regardless of whether we felt the need to confess anything.
I can't begin to tell you how many times my mother asked him not to talk so loud. I guess his career required a lot of yelling and he didn't leave his job at the office. Those were the early days. Later, after he retired from the military, he changed. He changed a lot as I began my high school years. He began to drink heavily. My mother also changed and was often mean to him and her children. They fought a lot as my siblings and I tried to get as far away from it as possible. We had a large home and a large yard, thank God!
I've never forgotten this incident when my Dad was especially chauvinistic. I was studying accounting, shorthand, and typing in school and hoped to work in an office when I graduated. These were my Dad's words of support: "It's good to have a skill, in case something happens to your husband and you have to go to work". Yesterday, while visiting with some of my female friends who are fellow Avon Representatives, they were talking about the encouragement their dads gave them. That conversation is what brought to mind the lack of encouragement I received from my dad.
I pat myself on the back daily for the progress I've been making in improving my self esteem. I'm happy with the desire I have to accomplish something in addition to being a wife and mother. I've been working hard online to promote my ozzieblackcat websites and my Avon blog and website. I've also been working hard to make a small income to supplement my husband's retirement income. I still battle the attitude of some of the men in my life who continue to display an attitude of "chauvinism" or superiority. I also battle the anger I feel when my husband behaves in this manner. Many men have let go of this attitude of superiority, but there are some of us who are still living with "male chauvinism" and this someone is surviving. My happiness level continues to increase as I learn to be the best I can be.
Please visit:
Ozzie Reviews Avon
My Avon Website
I can't begin to tell you how many times my mother asked him not to talk so loud. I guess his career required a lot of yelling and he didn't leave his job at the office. Those were the early days. Later, after he retired from the military, he changed. He changed a lot as I began my high school years. He began to drink heavily. My mother also changed and was often mean to him and her children. They fought a lot as my siblings and I tried to get as far away from it as possible. We had a large home and a large yard, thank God!
I've never forgotten this incident when my Dad was especially chauvinistic. I was studying accounting, shorthand, and typing in school and hoped to work in an office when I graduated. These were my Dad's words of support: "It's good to have a skill, in case something happens to your husband and you have to go to work". Yesterday, while visiting with some of my female friends who are fellow Avon Representatives, they were talking about the encouragement their dads gave them. That conversation is what brought to mind the lack of encouragement I received from my dad.
I pat myself on the back daily for the progress I've been making in improving my self esteem. I'm happy with the desire I have to accomplish something in addition to being a wife and mother. I've been working hard online to promote my ozzieblackcat websites and my Avon blog and website. I've also been working hard to make a small income to supplement my husband's retirement income. I still battle the attitude of some of the men in my life who continue to display an attitude of "chauvinism" or superiority. I also battle the anger I feel when my husband behaves in this manner. Many men have let go of this attitude of superiority, but there are some of us who are still living with "male chauvinism" and this someone is surviving. My happiness level continues to increase as I learn to be the best I can be.
Please visit:
Ozzie Reviews Avon
My Avon Website
Posted by ozzieblackcat at 1/31/2008 12:00 PM 
Categories: Relationships, depression, Anger, Family, Mental Health, Stress, self esteem
Categories: Relationships, depression, Anger, Family, Mental Health, Stress, self esteem
This was a great post and on my desktop your background is indeed red. On my laptop it really was dark pink. Great post, keep this up.
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Thank you for your support.
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Hi Susan. I am not particularly a male chauvinist but hate girls who think of themselves to be great without any cause. Well it was a nice post
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Hi there and thanks a lot for your comment. I'm glad to hear you aren't a male chauvinist. Hopefully, most of us have some reason to think well of ourselves without acting as if we are "great".
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I liked this post quite a bit. My Dad is living with me now or I should say I'm living with him. I bought the house a few years ago and he never moved out. I have to get my head bitten off when he is volatile and I need to sell the house back to him. I can't expose my daughter to that kind of behavior. She is only 15 months now but eventually it will start affecting her in a negative way. I know it has impacted my life. It makes me sad that I've either started to really dislike my father or I just resent him. Not sure which one right now though !
Thanks for posting this from your heart.....
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Thanks so much for your comment. I think you are right to get your daughter away from him as soon as you can. It's not doing you or her any good at all. Best of luck to you. Susan
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really good going, nice post, i like it...like that u aren't a male chauvinist.
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Thanks a lot for your comment. Susan
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Your dad was so strict. I am lucky that my dad is not an Army. Good luck to you, I know you will pass all these.
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Thank you for your comment. Susan
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Sharing your personal situation really a brave thing, yes little difficult when some one so strict with yours when specially your so close relation, you seems so brave hope you will move on from there bravely....tc
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Hi,
Sorry u had to deal with that. I think we call it 'chauvinism' and an 'attitude of superiority' but the reality is: men are very insecure people who question their self worth and what it means to be a man. It used to be men were defined as protectors and providers, and men are terrified of losing their roles. This generation of men are more relaxed in some ways. Underneath your dad's bravado lies alot of insecurity. Alot of men want male and female roles to be strictly defined because women do something men cannot: give birth and bring life into this world. Women may not realize the power they have, but men do, believe me! The closer men and women are, the more this difference stands out. That's why men are chauvinists; they are really just very scared and insecure people. That doesn't excuse his behavior, but most men would rather be called chauvinists and taken at face value than called on for their insecurities. Maleness is often about not admitting vulnerability. Just do what you want and don't let any more insecure men affect your life. Men have complexes!
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Actually I would be happy to have a father like yours. It only shows that he cares about your well being and wants things to turn out pretty well in your life.
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can you tell me what you have done to feel free, to feel better, control the anger or attitudes?
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I have learned to tune out negativity most of the time and just go on about my business. Sometimes, it's impossible and I still have problems with the anger...... but not nearly as much as I used to. It takes lots of practice.
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