His and Hers Depression Blog

Remembering Michael Jackson

2009-06-30T03:39:00Z

Last night I spent the entire evening watching videos and clips on YouTube. They were all of Michael Jackson. I was a big fan of Michael's for many years and still appreciate his music and dancing abilities. I hadn't seen any of his performances for a long time so I enjoyed all the videos I watched. I've had "I'll Be There" in my head all day today.

It makes me sad to know he is gone. It is especially hard remembering all the family problems, abuse, relationship failures and mental health problems that he dealt with in his short life. Some of us struggle daily with both mental and physical pain. We continually fight to come out on top and I wish Michael had been able to fight harder to conquer his demons.

It's very disturbing how many people are over medicated, whether by their doctors or by their own hands. If you take medication for depression, anxiety or pain. Please, be very careful to follow the prescribed dosage and don't mix with other drugs or alcohol. All of us have problems, yet we all need to behave responsibly in overcoming our problems. Stay safe!

Complications

2009-06-15T16:58:00Z

I like things to be simple.   I'm not sure why but it may have something to do with my depression and anxiety problems.   Complications that arise when I'm planning something can upset me and complications while I'm trying to do something can upset me even more. Usually, the hardest complications for me to deal with are those involving get togethers with family members.   I suppose this would fall into the category of social anxiety.

Relationships with family members aren't always the easiest relationships to maintain.....especially if you have lots of siblings and sibling rivalry. I find it is easiest to visit with my siblings one at a time. It isn't so overwhelming that way and we aren't ganging up on each other or making fun of each other nearly as much as when there are three or more of us together.

I'm writing about this today because I'm already worrying about a get together that is planned for the upcoming weekend with two of my siblings, both of whom I love dearly.   I guess I'm just a worry wart but more than two siblings at a time feels like complications of the worst kind.   Stressing about it will only make matters worse so I think writing it down may help me to get past these feelings of dreadful anticipation that I'm experiencing.   Hopefully, by the weekend I will be looking forward to seeing my relatives.

Below is a picture of one of my flower beds in May.
I can relieve stress with gardening so maybe I'll
work in the flower beds this week.

Overwhelming Anxiety

2009-06-08T02:41:00Z

Sometimes, those of us who suffer from anxiety disorder, feel overwhelmed with an acute attack of anxiety.   This recently happened to a contestant on Brittan's got Talent.   The contestant was Susan Boyle who became instantly famous when she was featured in a video on YouTube singing "I Dreamed a Dream".    The video shows what a wonderful voice Susan has and she was favored to win the contest but came in second place.....unbelievable to many.

After Susan's final performance she had an emotional breakdown and was taken to a clinic to recover from the stress and anxiety. I was happy to read that she has been released and is doing much better.   Some of us are a bit more fragile and need to take special care not to take on more than we can handle lest we are totally overwhelmed with anxiety.   Susan had family members she could rely on when she needed them most.   I feel fortunate to also have family members I can rely on if I find myself feeling overwhelmed.

We all need a support system during difficult times.   Support can come from family, friends, professionals or all three. I hope that with her support system, Susan Boyle will be strong enough to pursue a singing career someday soon.

Couch Potatoes

2009-06-01T23:42:00Z

My husband and I usually turn into 'Couch Potatoes' from about 8 till 11 p.m. each evening. We enjoy our regular programs a lot. In fact, recently we purchased a loveseat with two recliners for our viewing comfort.   Some of our relatives think we watch too much television but I don't think so. We don't often watch anything during the day except for the news at noon and again at 5:30.

I came across an interesting article several weeks ago which I've been meaning to share with all of you. I'm finally doing just that.   The article is about the possible positive aspects of watching television. We often hear about the negative ramifications of tv watching but according to this article television can help us fight off feelings of loneliness.

Previous studies had indicated that unhappy people watched television while happy people read or socialized.   Four new studies discussed in the article make watching television sound more positive.   You can read about these new findings in the article titled "For Some, TV is a Cure for Loneliness".   The next time you feel guilty for watching television, give yourself a break. It's not necessarily a bad thing to do, especially if watching television isn't the only thing you do.

Bipolar Information

2009-05-07T04:00:00Z

I have found some websites with very helpful information for those who are suffering from Bipolar Disorder themselves or are dealing with a loved one who is Bipolar.   Many of you know that my brother, David is bipolar. He used to write articles on this blog. In fact you can find some of his articles in the earlier archives.   Recently, I learned that another of my loved ones has been diagnosed as bipolar. That's when I started reading again about this mental health problem.

Sometimes it's hard to know how best to help someone who is suffering. I think understanding the illness is probably the key.   I have a lot of depression so I feel like I understand the depressive side of being bipolar.   I have no experience with the manic stages of being bipolar so am trying to learn all I can, so that I can understand and be supportive of my loved ones.   I hope the following articles will be of help to some of you whether you are suffering from bipolar disorder or if you know someone who is.

Then National Institute of Mental Health website offers a good publication about Bipolar Disorder.   Two other articles I've located are An Introduction to Bipolar Disorder and Spotting the Early Warning Signs of a Bipolar Mood Episode. Both articles are on the Psych Central website.   Another good article I found is at the Web MD site, Bipolar Disorder .

I know that those who suffer from Bipolar Disorder need the love and support of their family and friends. This illness can be helped with medication and therapy but it can also wreck havoc on relationships.   Be prepared to hang in there when your loved one is struggling with his moods.

My Brother, David

Writer's Block

2009-05-05T16:10:00Z

I apologize for not writing any new posts for so long. I guess I have been experiencing "writer's block". I believe it is due to my overall feeling of depression lately. The weather here in Southwest Missouri has been so terribly rainy and dreary that I'm sure it is contributing to my mental block....er....writer's block.

Please check back again soon, as I hope to end this mental health holiday in a few days. I've bookmarked some interesting websites to share with you soon.

Count Your Blessings

2009-04-12T23:17:00Z

The other day I sent my brother, David, an email telling him some of the things that were getting me down. He was sorry to hear I was having problems and then told me something that I'm trying to remember.   He said to try to list the things in my life that are good. I think that's excellent advice but I am having a hard time remembering to do it when I feel especially sad.

Easter wasn't a happy day for me this year. I guess because I didn't put enough into it. I have felt sad and depressed all day. In fact, I've been having a lot of trouble with depression ever since Christmas.   I'm not sure why I'm having so much trouble getting out from under the weight of this cloud that I feel.   I keep focusing on the negative things....they seem so overwhelming, and I need to remember what my brother said, "List the good things and be happy about them".   Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to do that.

Tonight I needed to express my feelings of sadness and depression, as well as the inability I seem to be having in shaking those feelings.   I hope that was okay with you, our readers.

Dealing With Manipulation

2009-04-06T23:00:00Z

Recently, I read an article about psychological manipulation and how to protect oneself from the effects of being manipulated by others. Many families and relationships are plagued by behavior that falls into the category of manipulation. According to dictionary.com, manipulate means to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.  Psychological manipulation doesn't just happen in movies and interrogation rooms. It's something that can happen in anyone's life. It's also something that can increase your depression and anxiety.

People tend to use manipulation on others when they, themselves, feel inadequate and incompetent. They try to make up for their feelings of powerlessness by gaining power over others. They don't care which way the car is going as long as they are in the driver's seat.   Some manipulators have distorted thinking and believe they are superior to others.   Whatever the cause of manipulation, it is based on weakness. Manipulators attempt to make you feel guilty.

Be aware of any manipulative people around you.  Awareness will help you to take action and protect yourself from situations that could lead to harmful effects on your mental, emotional or physical health.   If you have a lot of insecurity, other people may try to use your lack of self-confidence to control you. In order to prevent yourself from being a victim of manipulation, look for all your good points and be grateful for all the positive things in your life. Believe in yourself and have faith in your own ability to make decisions.

Time For Yourself

2009-04-05T20:45:00Z

My therapist used to tell me, "make time for yourself". It was good advice, especially since I had four kids between the ages of 2 and 16. Actually, I think it's good advice for everyone.   It's often difficult to make time for yourself when you have to consider the needs of other family members. Sometimes our relationships make it difficult to have time alone.

My husband and I are senior citizens and probably spend way too much time together. It was very difficult for me to adjust to his retirement several years ago because he spends most of his time at home.   I was usually a stay at home mom and was accustomed to having lots of time to myself after the kids were grown. Now, if I want time alone, I have to leave the house.   It still doesn't feel right.....but I've accepted it.

I think our relationships sometimes depend on our ability to accept change. Change has often been difficult for me because it causes me a great deal of anxiety. I still feel anxiety on a daily basis because I still crave time for myself and time at home alone. You can't really ask someone you love to just go away for a while. I think we can encourage others to take time for themselves and if they will do that, we might just end up with a bit of time alone.   I hope so!

Are You a Worry Wart?

2009-03-28T23:16:00Z

Are you a worry wart? I am, definitely. I'm not proud of it, but I have to say, I seem to worry less as the years go by. Maybe aging helps us to more easily accept whatever comes along. Maybe I have more trouble remembering what it is I was worrying about the day before. ha!

Worrying can cause us a great deal of stress, anxiety and eventually depression. It can wreck our relationships, interfere with our family activities and play havoc with our own mental health as well as our physical health. Still.....many of us are worry warts. I wonder if women are more prone to worrying than men. I wonder what kind of reward we are getting from spending our energy worrying. I wonder if I'm worrying too much about this!!!

I came across a helpful and interesting article about worrying and thought I would share it with you. It discusses managing our worrying with Action and Distraction. Sounds like a pretty good idea to me. It's been my experience that when I am busy, I am less prone to worrying. When I'm idle or resting is the time my mind starts in again, often relentlessly. I'll never forget something my therapist told me years ago. "when you're having these worrisome thoughts, change the channel, just as if it were a television set". This advice has saved me many times from unnecessary stress. Give it a try and see if it works for you.